Daily Mom Hug | Sacrifice Isn't Necessary
We've been fed lies about the power of love.
Good morning, fam! Today I want to talk about the saying ‘Love Conquers All’.
It’s bullshit.
You can love someone and not sacrifice your life
against the rock of their indifference.
Not because real love doesn’t exist. (It does.) But in a healthy relationship, love is a building block.
Read that again:
Love is a building block.
That means that a healthy relationship requires more than love to sustain life.
Don’t get me wrong: Love is a beautiful thing.
But if you’re reading this, then you’ve probably been in one or more relationships where you are the sole person trying to feed and grow that relationship.
That’s isn’t a relationship. It’s a trauma-inducing parasite, leaching on you with gnashing teeth and fingers until it sucks you so dry, you cannot move on.
But, kiddo, move on you must.
You can love someone and not stay.
You can love someone and realize that you’re losing yourself trying to find the person you fell in love with.
You can also concede that the love you may feel for them is more of a placeholder you use to fill a hole dug out by people who made you feel unworthy growing up.
I’ll give you a minute to let that last one sink in.
You deserve better.
You deserve a partner who is there for you, respects your boundaries and is willing to grow as a person, with you and grow your relationship together.
You deserve to be loved like you love them.
Is it easy? I’m sorry, but I know from personal experience that walking away is a hard way forward. It took me two years of therapy to leave a longterm relationship that also involved two children.
But I will tell you that I am happier now in a healthy relationship after I learned to be comfortable with being alone first.
You will be, too.
And hey, this applies to every other relationship you have, too, not just the romantic ones. Life is too short to keep toxic people around you.
You don’t have to do it alone. I am happy to be here with you every step of the way.
Love,
Your Mom